Where a dad of two great kids (one on the autism spectrum) muses about life.
Thursday, March 15, 2007
This Gentleman Prefers Blonds
One thing that has always been a part of Buddy Boy’s makeup is that he hardly appears to be paying attention to his peers. While he likes adults, knows his teachers’ names, and can relate things that adults in his life did that day, he does not appear to care about kids his age. He doesn’t much like to play with other kids and rarely talks to them. When he comes home from school, he can relate no things he did with any other children, and even after being in the same class with the same kids for two years, could not name any other kids in the class. There is one notable exception to this rule.
My kid digs blond chicks.
This is the only conclusion I can come to, after considering the following:
When in pre-school, there was one girl whose name he knew, and that teachers mentioned he would (sometimes) talk to. It was a girl named Trudy, who happened to be blond.
When in Kindergarten, there was only one classmate that Buddy Boy ever was able to recall, Anna, who was blond. She often tried to look after Buddy Boy and include him with class activities, even though he rarely responded.
Finally, when Liz was taking him to a gym class the other day (run by a local OT who is great at getting Buddy Boy to participate), he indicates this girl in the class who is probably 9 years old (and blond) and tells Liz “That’s my love.” I guess it was all Liz could do to keep herself from cracking up at that point. Here was her son, who hardly ever interacts in any way we recognize with other kids, declaring his love for a girl he doesn’t know (by his own admission, she has only ever asked him “Could you go stand somewhere else?”).
I’m not sure where this “blond thing” comes from. Liz isn’t blond. None of the females in our families are blond. Buddy Boy’s birthmother isn’t blond. Did he have a good experience with Trudy in pre-school, and is now transferring what he feels is her essence (her being blond) to other kids? Is it some innate thing that is expressing itself? Has he internalized this from watching TV?
I am not sure where this has come from, but I wish I understood it, as it seems a powerful force.
I'd love to harness that force, just as long as it doesn't involve Barbie or Paris Hilton.
Me- Joe, husband of a great wife, and dad to two great kids, who were both adopted at birth.
Liz- My ever understanding wife, who manages to wear many hats (mom, advocate, therapist, teacher) for our kids.
Buddy Boy- Born in 2000. Funny, intelligent, inventive, and autistic. Loves machines.
Sweet Pea- Born in 2002. Typical little sister. Competitive, outgoing, and smart. Loves anything pink.