School Ups and Downs

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My apologies for not posting lately. Things have been busy (work, home, kid's school) and I just haven't had the feeling that I had anything of any importance to say lately. I don't really have anything that important to say today, for that matter, but felt more like posting.

Overall, this has been a good year in school. So good for Buddy Boy that I haven't really talked about it, for fear of jinxing him. His second grade teacher is the best teacher in the school (at least that's what parents who have had kids in her class say, and I tend to agree). Mrs. J loves Buddy Boy, sees the positives, is great at motivating him, and is great at including him. Did I mention that he is included in the main gen ed classroom for the whole day, with the exception of some pull out time for OT? He has an aide, and has gone from less than half time in the gen ed classroom last year to full time this year. Buddy Boy has had a few rough spots, but his teacher took them in stride, never threatened that we "needed to do something about him", and kept pushing on, expecting him to succeed. And he has.

Buddy Boy still has problems completing his work in school, but his teacher allows for some modifications, and we complete some of it with him at home. He's doing fine academically, and really excels in spelling. He loves his class.

Sweet Pea is a bit of a pistol, but has settled in fairly well to Kindergarten. She firmly believes that the world revolves around her, that she is a true princess, and that she always deserves to be first, best, etc., etc. She is a social butterfly, and has a lot of friends. She also has some enemies at school (ironically, most seem to be girls amazingly like her, who also think that they are the best and only ones). But mostly she's done just fine.

I really shouldn't (and can't) complain. Especially when I read some other blogs, and see that some of my cyber acquaintances (I'd call y'all cyber friends, but you'd probably think I was a bit creepy) like Niksmom and Marla are going thru right now. I truly have nothing to complain about.

And yet I've been down a bit lately, because Buddy Boy has been struggling a bit more (getting into more arguments with his teacher at school, refusing to do homework, etc.) over the last few weeks. About 5 weeks ago he trashed our kitchen, including breaking up a wooden chair. It seemed to be an isolated incident at the time. I've asked him if he's unhappy in school, but he says he's not. I think he feels pressure, but he also desperately wants to stay in the gen ed room. This week has been especially bad at school (compared to how the rest of this year has been).

This week Buddy Boy's class has a student teacher (without the regular teacher in the room), and his aide has been out sick (and has not been replaced). They are covering the solar system in his class, and it is being presented as a "Space Adventure". The solar system is one of Buddy Boy's favorite things. He can name the planets (in order) tell me which ones are gas planets, was sad when Pluto lost its planetary designation, etc.

Whether it's been having the student teacher, not having his aide, or just one of those things, for the first three days this week he had to be removed from science class. As soon as the teacher started talking about the solar system he started interrupting, saying "It's not a space adventure!" He wouldn't (or couldn't) say what exactly he thought it should be, but something was truly upsetting about the way this was being presented, and he basically decompensated. When Buddy Boy decompensates, he gets less verbal, starts verbal ticks (grunts, clearing his throat, barking) and then starts getting physical (throwing things and/or tearing at his clothes). No one got hurt, and the school hasn't threatened to do anything, but it's been kind of disappointing. Once he was out of the classroom, he stayed out for the rest of the day. Things were going so good. We've tried talking to him about it the last few days, but he can't really say what's been setting him off, and each day has been pretty much the same. Liz called his teacher yesterday, and politely but firmly said that he absolutely needed to have an aide, as he was clearly having problems. His teacher agreed.

Today he got thru Science class! Maybe it was getting an aide back, maybe it was a fluke, or maybe he's accommodated to the changed teacher and unorthodox method of presenting the material. But for whatever reason, he made it thru today, which was good.

Meanwhile, down the hall in Kindergarten Sweet Pea was getting herself in a bit of trouble. Earlier this year the school called us because one of the parents complained that Sweet Pea was weaseling food from her daughter. Not exactly stealing it, but going up to this other girl and saying things like "That sure looks good. I sure would like some of that. Can I have some of your food?" This other girl didn't seem able to just say no, but always felt bad, and would go home and cry about this. The school also has a strict "No Food Sharing" rule, to prevent kids with allergies from getting the wrong food, as well as for general decorum. We talked about it when we found out, and thought she had stopped it.

Well last week we found out that Sweet Pea has been up to her old tricks again (and with the same girl). I guess she figures if there are no teachers directly around her at lunch time that she can get away with it. While I worry that my son will get bullied at school, his little sister is practicing her own bullying skills (this year treats from another's lunch, next year the lunch money?). So this time we've grounded her three favorite stuffed animals (all cats) and have threatened that if it happens again, her birthday party at the end of next month will be canceled. I'm hoping that will do it. But I fear that even if this battle is won, there will be many bigger ones with her in the future.

I'm crossing my fingers that Buddy Boy gets thru tomorrow OK, so he can finish the week on an up note, and that Sweet Pea doesn't forfeit the party. Because she has been planning this party since last year, and I know she's really looking forward to it.

Like I said, nothing earth shattering, or really all that interesting.

Springs coming, I know it is. And I can't wait for the clocks to change.

The Ivy Ceiling

What happens after high school?

That's one of many questions that many of us that have kids with disabilities think of. Will our kids be able to go to college, get a job, live independently? Will they be happy?

Two young people with disabilities enrolled in Florissant Valley Community College in the St. Louis, Missouri, USA area. They had hopes, dreams, and scholarships they had earned during high school. What happened to them is detailed in a story found here.

...It happened to Jennifer Adelsberger two years ago. She attended Florissant Valley for four years and was close to getting her associates degree in early childhood education. She has disabilities, Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder and has difficulty in reading comprehension. But, with help, she graduated from McCluer North High School.

However, at Florissant Valley, Adelsberger couldn't get her degree because her advisor, she says, told her that she would not be able to graduate. She needs four classes to get her degree; a math class, two in student teaching and a fourth in class training with children.

After she was told she wouldn't be able to pass those classes, she left school and has been looking for work since. Her father, Larry, says she's had her heart set on being a teaching assistant, working with young children, and what happened at Florissant Valley has affected her outlook and personality. ...

It would appear that the math class is the stumbling block. I find it hard to believe that the school can't identify a tutor that could help her to get thru that one class. I'm sure it couldn't possibly be that this young woman looks and talks a little different from the norm, and they didn't want her student teaching. Surely there is no other discrimination involved. This is born out by looking at the other case, in which things seemed to start out just fine:

...For Jeremy Andert, the fall at Florissant Valley was much quicker. He too had an A+ scholarship and he graduated from Hazelwood West High School in the spring of 2006. In the Fall, he began at Florissant Valley, taking just a remedial reading class and physical education. It was to be an easy transition from high school to the rigors of college.

He was doing well in reading and physical education. In fact, his teacher had written him a mid-term report, indicating he was passing the class and was succeeding in school. ...

It sounds like Jeremy was approaching things in a realistic manner, and things were going well. His mom thought he was doing well, too (who wouldn't, having been given the satisfactory mid-term report).

...However his mother, Cathy Andert, had a meeting with a school advisor, who told a different story. Cathy says the advisor told her that she didn't care to have "retarded" students in her classes and she wasn't "having" it. Cathy says she was taken aback by those comments. ...

I think I would have been more than "taken aback" by those comments. Ms. Andert was much kinder than I would have been. The school, for its part, offered this lame response:

...Laura Sternman, a vice president of student affairs at Florissant Valley, says such comments are not the college's "attitude" taken on campus. Sternman says the college does all it can to help disabled students, saying the school is "very proactive" when it comes to such help. ...

Actions speak louder than words, and Florissant Valley's actions speak volumes. And so does its web site, where you can follow a link from this page called “You Should Know the Difference Between High School and College for Students With Disabilities.”

There are things written there, such as

A college education is a privilege instead of a right and special programs are not required

Students are responsible for their own behavior and inappropriate behavior is not tolerated

Students are expected to do the same work in the same time frame as all students

These hardly seem consistent with an institution that says it is doing all it can to assist disabled students.

For those that are not in the US, community colleges are 2 year public institutions that offer lesser than bachelor degrees, usually "Associate of Arts" degrees. Students can pursue various courses of study there, or use it as a stepping stone to a four year institution. As can be gleaned from the above, education at the college level is not governed by the same sets of rules that apply to education up to that point.

Various people on the web have commented regarding how some colleges in some instances are providing accomodations for students with special needs. But it appears that their legal responsibility is only to supply equal access (things like physical access, access for guide dogs, etc.), and there is no requirement for them to accommodate developmental or behavioral disabilities.

While some colleges seem to have greater outreach than others, it appears that at least some people at Florissant Valley Community College feel so emboldened that they can say that they don't want to have to deal with 'retarded' students in their classes.

If you wish to express your opinion to Laura Sterman personally, here is her contact information:

Laura Sterman
Vice President of Student Affairs
St. Louis Community College-Florissant Valley Campus
3400 Pershall Rd.
St. Louis, MO 63135

314-595-4200

lsterman@stlcc.edu

You also might want to copy your note to the president of Florissant Valley, Ms. Marcia Pfeiffer:

mpfeiffer@stlcc.edu

I could not find a public listing of the e-mail of Henry Shannon, Ph.D., the chancellor of all of the St. Louis Community Colleges, but if it follows their convention, it should be

hshannon@stlcc.edu

Little Hurts

There are a lot of big issues that we have to deal with (which doctors to use, which therapies, which drugs in what doses, what school to go to, etc.). And there are things which hurt us (inappropriate placements, ignorant people in public, inappropriate treatment and comments from school staff, etc.).

There are also a lot of good things in our life right now (my ability to move to a different job position with a little more predictable hours, positive interactions between Buddy Boy and his sister (as well as "normal" competition and arguing between them).

But some of the things that hurt the most are the seemingly little things.

This year Buddy Boy is in a different school than he was last year. He started out last year "mainstreamed" in Kindergarten without an aide assigned to him. This was disastrous (as we predicted during his IEP). Instead of adding support in the classroom, he was pulled out and spent half the year in the "resource room" being "taught" by 7-8 different "teachers" a day. They were never consistent, treated him as if his non-compliance was willfull on his part, and responded with suspensions. This year he started off half time in a school for emotionally disturbed kids, and half time in a "Communications Classroom" at a different school than he attended last year (this was the best deal that we and our lawyer could get, considering the malicious paper trail they had layed). Part of our bargain was for him to have an independent evaluation, which was done in November. Since the holiday break he's been full time in the Communications Classroom, but still without any mainstream inclusion.

There is one other child in Buddy Boy's class that is also there full time. The remainder of the kids in the class are mainstreamed with support for varying parts of the day. The only things that Buddy Boy does do with other kids are recess, lunch, and all school assemblies (if he's able to tolerate the noise).

Right before the holiday break the school had what they termed a "Peace Assembly". They wanted to have a celebration before the holidays, but didn't want to offend anyone, hence the term. This assembly was run by the parents association of the school. For this assembly the kids practiced singing specific songs in Music class that would be sung at the assembly, and every kid in the school painted a rock for the assembly. All the rocks were brought by the kids to the assembly, and they made a big thing about these rocks. They are going to make a patio behind the school with these rocks embedded in it. A big theme of this assembly was including everyone and everyone getting along together. Parents were invited to the assembly to share in this experience. Everyone in the school participated in the assembly.

Everyone except for two kids in the Communication Classroom. Neither of whom went out to Music class to practice singing the songs, and neither of whom went out to Art to paint rocks.

We might not have found out about it, except that Liz did indeed attend the assembly, and was totally mortified that Buddy Boy wasn't included in this. How welcome do you feel at a new school when everyone at the school does something, and you and only one other kid are excluded? How hard would it have been for the parents association and the teachers to assure that ALL kids in the school were included?

I know that it was an innocent oversite, born of ignorance. No one meant any harm. And after a flurry of e-mails, they have promised to do better next time (though they don't seem to think it was a big thing).

But this one hurts. Bad. I'm sure that my son felt even more excluded and left out then he is usually made to feel by the system. And there was absolutely no reason for that to happen. What a great thing it would have been if someone had thought a little, and for once he was truly part of the group. What a lost opportunity.