A Great Father Dies

Tim Russert, 1950-2008

Tim Russert, known to most Americans as the host and moderator of NBC's "Meet The Press", died suddenly today. He was 58 years old.

He was an icon of American journalism, who asked tough but fair questions of politicians of all stripes. His interviews were always fair, and he never belittled or insulted the people he had on his show. That's pretty impressive, for someone who did it for almost 25 years.

I thought he was just a darn good journalist until I read a book he wrote, "Wisdom of Our Fathers". I received this book as a Father's Day gift two years ago. This was a follow on book to one he wrote two years earlier, entitled "Big Russ and Me". In this first book on fatherhood Russert talks about his own father, who was a sanitation worker and a truck driver, and what a great dad he was. The second book (which I received) stemmed from letters regarding fatherhood that Russert had received from readers of his first book. Russert also sprinkled in some stories regarding his relationship with his own son, Luke.

It was obvious from his treatment of the subject of fatherhood that Russert himself was doing a darn good job of being a father himself. Russert always sprinkled bits about his family into his show and interviews, and it was obvious that he placed great stock on being a good father. His son liked his dad so much that he had himself tatooed with his father and grandfather's name.

Fathers often are overshadowed in the parenting process by mothers (who are, admittedly, extremely important). I admired the way that Tim Russert reminded people that fathers are important, too. He served as a good role model for fathers everywhere. I am saddened by his passing.

Russert had just returned from a vacation in Italy with his family, which was to celebrate his son's graduation from college.

Buddy Boy's Home Photos

Buddy Boy successfully made his First Communion this year, which we considered a big accomplishment. His most prized gift came from his godfather, Uncle Dave. Uncle Dave got him what Buddy Boy's been campaigning for for quite awhile-a camera.

I've uploaded the first set of photos that I'm making public from Buddy Boy's first foray into photography. These are from around the house, most taken on the first day or two he had the camera. I didn't include ones he made of the family (sorry).

Later I'll upload some ones he took on vacation. In addition to the two shots here, the rest of the photos can be found on Flickr. Enjoy!

Respite, Dolphins, Mummies, and Tractors

Buddy Boy's "Memory Extractor"


I haven't been posting a whole lot lately, especially about personal stuff. Things got really hard for awhile, and it became a combination of not being able/wanting to lay out my personal problems to the whole world (I am basically the silent, keep it in, work it out yourself kind of guy) as well as using all of my spare energy to do my best to keep our family from disintegrating. School's been out for two whole weeks here. And we're finally getting back to some semblance of normalcy.

The school year started out really well for Buddy Boy. The majority of his time was spent included in a regular classroom. Buddy Boy had the best darn teacher in the whole school for his regular class, Mrs. J. His special ed class teacher (Miss E.) worked well with Mrs. J., and pushed for him to be included more this year. Buddy Boy (for the most part) rose to the challenge. Miss E. helped support him for the small amount of time when he was scheduled to be pulled out (for OT and speech), as well as for the few unscheduled times when he had problems in the regular class. Mrs. J. is famous amongst the school's special ed families for her ability to bring out the best in all of the kids in her class. I'm really glad that Buddy Boy had her this year, and sad that he won't have her again next year.

Things went so well for the first several months that I hardly wrote anything about it. I was afraid that I would jinx the good fortune we were enjoying. This was it. This was the year that Buddy Boy would turn the corner on his behavior issues and be seen by his teachers and classmates as a full, valuable member of the class.

The last 7-8 weeks of school things got progressively worse (mostly at school, but also at home). I'm not really sure why. Buddy Boy became upset at the drop of a hat. He refused to do things that didn't bother him before. He lashed out and bit a teacher (which required stitches), and hit another. Liz was literally camped out in the school parking lot, forever on call for when things happened. Some days she was called three times. Several days ended early, with Buddy Boy being taken home.

His teachers looked for causes, we looked for causes. Though Buddy Boy is now quite verbal, he could offer no insight into what was causing him distress. Liz became increasingly distraught, and lashed out at a most convenient target, me. We both felt certain that although this school has been very accepting and supporting of Buddy Boy, that the days were numbered until he was kicked out.

School ended, and we never got "the letter". You know, the official one that says that your kid has been expelled. I am still perplexed, but thankful. This leaves us with more options for next year.

Slowly, ever so slowly, we have gotten back to some sort of equilibrium. It's a big relief that we no longer have the school's sword hanging over our heads (for now). Liz has relaxed, and even gotten some more sleep. We are talking again (instead of snapping and snarling, or even worse, saying nothing). I feel like we're on the same side again.

This week I had time off, which we used to go to Chicago. One of my uncles is dying, and we wanted to see him before he did. He has worsening congestive heart failure which has reached the limits of medical management, and it is only a matter of time. How much is hard to say. This aunt and uncle have always been great to our kids. Even though they don't have a lot of money (due to having had a special needs daughter themselves, as well as lots of medical bills), they have always sent cards with a note and $2 bills to the kids on all major holidays (Christmas, Easter, Thanksgiving) as well as their birthdays. The kids love those cards.

Since we were going up there, we took some time to take the kids to a couple of museums. Chicago has great museums, though they can be a bit expensive when you're going to multiple ones. We went to the Shedd Aquarium and the Field Museum. If you plan your trip carefully, you can take advantage of several free days at the Field Museum. Unfortunately my time off didn't correlate with any of those days.



The Shedd Aquarium expanded greatly several years ago, and the kids (and us) loved it. Besides exploring several halls of fish and amphibians and watching a diver feed the fish in a huge glass tank, we saw a movie and a dolphin show. The movie was billed as a "4D" movie, as in addition to donning 3D glasses, there were air and water jets that shot out at us at various times, as well as vibrating seats. It was fairly intense from a sensory standpoint, but Buddy Boy hung in there. The dolphins were cool, especially as we got to go up after the show and get much closer to them.




The Field Museum of Natural History is like Indiana Jones' storehouse of everything he ever found on all of his expeditions. Sweet Pea was a little apprehensive about seeing mummies, but did a good job. She really liked the t-rex skeleton they had there, as well as some of the stuffed exotic animals. Sweet Pea also wasn't totally into an exhibit where they simulated you being the size of a small bug underground, but of course Buddy Boy thought it was totally cool. Liz and I enjoyed a special exhibit they had on George Washington Carver, but the kids seemed they could not care less.



We had ice cream and a ferris wheel ride down at Navy Pier, and headed back to the hotel for another night of swimming.



Having spent three days in Chicago, it was time to move on. On our way back home we took a little detour and went to Moline, Illinois. Why would we want to go to a relatively small sleepy river town for? Well, to visit the John Deere world headquarters and pavilion, of course. As astute readers of this little blog may recall, Buddy Boy has a thing for farming equipment, especially stuff made by John Deere.



















While I'd love to take the Ferrari factory tour someday, I rather doubt that they'd let my 6 and 8 year old kids crawl all over them, sit in the driver's seat, push pedals and hit the switches. Yet this is just what Deere lets anyone do with their $300,000 combines, as well as their less expensive equipment. There are several pieces of farming equipment as well as construction equipment located both at their world headquarters, as well as their pavilion in town. They also have some antique tractors (which they understandably don't let you crawl all over).

All in all, it's great to be getting back to normal. I don't know what the fall will bring (in terms of school), but for now it's great to kick back a little, relax, and get back into the groove.

A Great Place to Visit, But...

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Florida is a great place to visit. There's all sorts of things to amuse and satisfy both kids and adults. There's NASA,

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Florida oranges,

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sandy beaches,

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and a park where a somewhat famous mouse lives.


But while one could certainly have a great time visiting Florida with one's kids, it increasingly seems that Florida is not a place one would choose to live with their kids anytime soon. It would seem that Florida may soon have to change their motto from "The Sunshine State" to the "We Hate Kids" state.

Christschool the other day had a great post about the Alex Barton/Portillo case that brought up issues such as the increasing use of police to handle routine school discipline problems, possible inappropriate training of such personnel, and teachers' complicity in ostracizing those who are "different" in their classrooms. This last point was also blogged by Joeymom.

As Shawn pointed out recently, there is a whole system that's at fault here, and not just the teacher (which does not absolve the teacher in any way for her part in this).

One does not have to look far to see other instances where very young children's actions in Florida schools are criminalized, rather than being addressed with behavioral intervention plans. Indeed, some see a "school to prison pipeline" that has developed in the Florida education system.

Given the undisputed facts of the Barton case and the general climate of making criminals out of young students with undesirable behaviors in Florida, I have to agree with Christschool in saying "I believe Alex, too".

I'm on the road right now, and visited with my brother and sister-in-law tonight. My SIL works as a "para" in a 2nd grade classroom. I mentioned the facts of the Barton case to her (she had not heard about the case) using a very neutral voice. She was appalled, as are many good teachers who have read about this case. Yes, I realize that most teachers are great, and really work for the good of all of their students. I also realize that most teachers work under conditions that are less than ideal, without proper supports in place. And that puts a great deal of stress on teachers.

I'm waiting for the investigation by the Port St. Lucie school district, but absent some finding (backed up by evidence) that great portions of Barton's account were made up, I believe Alex.

It's time for Florida to get on the stick, and to stick up for all of its students, not just the ones that are compliant. This means not only rightfully having sanctions on the teacher involved in this case (Ms. Portillo), but also examining the whole education process in Florida and the whole problem with criminalizing school behaviors that have no place in the criminal justice system.

Education, Survivor, and Hamburgers

I think Amanda was the first to point out the recent abuse of a Kindergarten student in Port St. Lucie, Florida. And many others have since weighed in (scroll down the linked blog for a list of other posts).

I would imagine the vast majority of those who read this blog have already heard about this, where a Kindergarten teacher thought it thoroughly appropriate to have a 5 year old student stand in front of the class while his classmates were instructed to tell him what they didn't like about him. The teacher then thought it would be a good idea to have his classmates vote on whether he should be allowed to stay in the class or not.

They voted him out, by a vote of 14-2, in a move reminiscent of the American TV show, Survivor.

The vast majority of blogging on this that I have seen quite rightly call for the "teacher", Wendy Portillo, to be fired immediately.

Bev has kindly posted some contact info for key people that we can register our (polite) displeasure with.

I especially enjoyed Shawn's post at Along The Spectrum as he detailed how although Portillo's actions were especially egregious, that there was blame enough to go around to the whole system that allowed this to happen.

It has been recognized that teachers are sometimes bullies. Some teachers bully because they are sadistic, and some because they were once bullied themselves.

Bullying isn't only something that happens in schools. Increasingly aggressive managers in the workplace sometimes bully their employees, in a style of management referred to as "Hamburger Management". In this form of management, competition is stressed amongst workers, with workers constantly encouraged to be better than their co-workers, and be "winners".

While bullying in the workplace is also wrong, at least the ones being bullied are presumably adults and have the possibility of leaving to find work elsewhere. Often when pupils in schools report bullying, they are not believed, the bullying continues and often gets worse, and they can suffer long term mental health consequences.

Once again, I encourage everyone to go to Bev's blog for a list of the people you can (politely) contact to let them know that such situations are unacceptable.

Justice Delayed

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Well, it might be a case of too little, too late for many who have been tortured at the Judge Rotenberg Center (JRC) in the past, but I'll take anything at this point.

Yesterday's Boston Globe reported that the JRC is being investigated, and that state investigators went in to the center last week and seized boxes of documents.

I started writing about the JRC about 15 months ago, but they've been up to no good for a lot longer than that. The JRC is famous for using electric shocks in autistic individuals as a form of "aversive therapy". Inmates "Students" at the center wear backpacks with batteries and shocking devices which torturers "patient care technicians" can activate at any time by pushing a button. They shock children for such things as being "defiant", or for matters as trivial as "nagging a teacher".

The state of Massachusetts has considered laws in the past to ban spanking of children, but still allows the JRC to continue its daily torture of children.

According to the Globe article:

State Police seized documents late last week from the offices of the Judge Rotenberg Educational Center in Canton that are related to a prank phone call last summer that led two students to wrongfully receive dozens of punishing electrical shocks, according to two people with direct knowledge of the investigation.

I guess all of the shocking things that go on at the JRC on a daily basis, like starvation and shocking "students" is just fine, but give some of those same "students" some extra shocks and NOW they're sitting up and taking notice.

The article goes on to say:

The collection of evidence has to do with a yearlong grand jury investigation led by the office of Attorney General Martha Coakley, said Kenneth Mollins, a New York lawyer who has filed several lawsuits against the school and who said he spoke to a representative of Coakley's office about the Rotenberg investigation. Mollins said he was told the grand jury is also examining possible financial improprieties by the school.

I just hope that this investigation sheds enough light on this stinkhole of a place that the public finally sees it for what it is.

Happy Mother's Day

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To those that missed my post last year, it applies even more so now.

And for a bit of humor, I suggest viewing "Because I'm the mom".

Happy Mother's Day!